On Synchronicities And The Meaning We Make

We follow the threads of synchronicity through 11:11, a father’s passing, a song that kept returning, and a family healing ritual that would not run dry. Jung’s idea of meaningful coincidence becomes a tool for choosing, grieving, and staying close to intuition without losing agency.

• how 11:11 shaped career, trust, and direction
• Jung’s framing of synchronicity as inner–outer dialogue
• polls on coincidences, signs, and trusting symbols
• grief as a liminal space where meaning deepens
• the returning song as a compass for healing
• Saint Padre Pio oil as family ritual and anchor
• balancing awe with personal agency in choices
• inviting community stories and future guest plans
• pulling “Just Say Yes” and calling in soul family

If you hear any story on this podcast that makes you think of your own story with synchronicities or symbols, share those on our Google form so we can maybe share them on the next episode as a carryover
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Transcript

Setting The Stage: Synchronicities

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Welcome back to Heart on the Table. Today we are going to be talking about synchronicities, and I'm really excited for this episode. We just kind of got this idea. How did we get this idea?

SPEAKER_01 1:04

I think it was when we were recording the Lovers episode. Yeah. Oh, I think you're right. I can't remember exactly what we were talking about, but it did come up and we were like workshopping in real time on the episode. Like we need to do.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

There's been just a lot of episodes and a lot of conversations that we've had off the podcast that has just like sparked ideas for us. I think we're gonna have our like first guest on the podcast soon. Hopefully this month, I'm excited to kind of start incorporating in a few more things. In some ways, it feels like I love talking about the tarot, and it's like that's how we started this podcast. But in some ways, kind of incorporating other topics that we're both passionate about feels like more fresh and exciting and fun. I'm really excited for this episode.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Yeah, and I think it goes a long way to say like what we've been talking about. Our vision of something can change. Yes. And it doesn't mean that we, I mean, we're going to keep like sprinkling in episodes about the major arcana.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

Yep. And the tarot. I was telling Miranda yesterday when we got coffee that the time that I was really, we were talking about like otherworldly stuff yesterday, but I was kind of telling her like tarot and synchronicities and like all of that stuff. I kind of had interest in all of that at the same point, you know, long ago in my life. So it all kind of goes hand in hand. And I think very much ties into like how it just ties into my life, you know, and like some of the even drive and momentum for this podcast.

Broadening Beyond Tarot

SPEAKER_01 2:32

So thank you so much for being here with us today and for continuing to listen. We really love the fact that it is resonating with so many people. So if you have thoughts, questions, comments, or things to share with us, we'd love to hear from you. I think I want to start off by just talking about the polls, maybe, or talk about the polls sooner. Yes. And then jump in.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Yeah, and I was gonna say too, I want to just put it at the very front of the episode. If you hear any story on this podcast that makes you think of your own story with synchronicities or symbols, I would love it if you wanted to share those on our Google form so that we could maybe share them on the next episode as a carryover. If we don't get any, that's okay. I mean, we're still growing this podcast, it's still a baby thing. If you're motivated to open up our Google form and send us your story, it's on our Instagram, isn't it? It's like under our Instagram links. It would be fun to have carryover just because I'm interested to hear what other synchronicities people have experienced in their life because I just think they're so fun.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

So and I love to just like the engagement right with our listeners with you guys that I mean you might not be sitting here in this room with us as we record on Sundays, but we are definitely like looking to build that community and hope to like host in-person events in the new year and again just invite guests on to speak. So we're like, we really value what you have to say and appreciate anything that you're willing to share with us.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

Yep. Okay, kick us off with our polls on synchronicities.

Community Polls And Listener Invites

SPEAKER_01 4:04

Yes. Okay, so the first question was Have you ever experienced a coincidence that felt too perfect to ignore? 92% said yes and it gave me chills. 8% said maybe, but I'm not sure what to make of it. And again, I think for these polls we had about 14 to 16 on average responses. The next question was when something lines up too perfectly, do you take it as a wink from the universe or pure coincidence? 50% said definitely something deeper. 33% said not sure, but I pay attention. And 17% said probably random. The next question was how easy is it for you to trust the signs or symbols life shows you? 15% said I doubt them, 62% said I'm learning, and 23% said I fully trust them. That's interesting. And then the last one is what's one synchronicity or sign that has felt like a message meant just for you? One was swans and sloths.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

Which I want to hear more about that, and I know who left that comment. So I need you. Jenny, isn't it? I need you, Jenny, to get on the Google form and tell me about swans and I'm very curious about sloths. Like, yes, I need to know more. Yes, I do need to know more. So, Jenny, if you're listening, I need to know more about sloths in particular and how that's shown up in your life. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

And then the other one was 11-11. Do you want to share? Or do you want to jump into that? I think we'll jump into that a little bit later.

SPEAKER_02 5:35

But I also I do want to say we have 16, like 14 to like how many people?

SPEAKER_01 5:40

14 to 16.

SPEAKER_02 5:41

14 to 16, and only one of you, because one of them was me, shared what your symbol or what your synchronicity is. And I'm just dying to know. I wish I could have 14 people in this room talking about synchronicities and symbolism, because I'm just like, wait, but you guys said that you related, but only one person said with what. So I'm so curious about. I would love to do a follow-up episode where we like share some of the synchronicities and symbols that people have noticed in their life. If you feel so inclined to share them on the Google Forum stock. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

Definitely. How fun would that be to have like 14 people in here?

SPEAKER_02 6:19

I know talking about synchronicities. Maybe that's her first event. They're just gonna come and talk about synchronicities all night long. I do wonder if you know more than I do because you're more into Carl Jung than I am, I think.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

I do have a section on that.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Okay, great. I've just recently recognized as a therapist that I am very Young Yan. Jungian? Jungian.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

Yeah, okay. I'll kick us off. Yeah. I just kind of have like some background knowledge to synchronicity. So the origin of the term, Carl Jung coined the term.

Why Your Stories Matter

SPEAKER_02 6:51

Which can you tell who us who he is? Because I don't know if our listeners know who that is. I mean, he's very popular. I would say most people do, but I just I did have a friend who was like, Can you explain a little bit more of your therapy background? If you're not inundated with like therapy world, I don't know if you would know immediately who the hell we're talking about, and we're talking about him like everybody knows.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

Yeah. So Carl Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist who developed analytical psychology and introduced concepts like collective unconscious, archetypes, individuation, synchronicities, things like that. The reason why I am drawn to his work is just because it's so deeply layered with meaning. And I feel like I'm a very meaning-making person. Me too. Like I am very much a symbolism, dreams, what do they mean? Like as a reflection of myself, right? It's all my own interpretation. And I think that that's just another appealing part of why I find so much connection with it, is just because it is just learning more about myself.

SPEAKER_02 7:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

And in a world where I think we've talked about before, like we don't know who we are when we look in the mirror, or like what our values are, or what's important to us, or what's really going on for us underneath it all. And I think it connects back even to the tarot, right? Like these are collections of archetypes that have withstood, again, the test of time, right? Because they are so universal to the human experience as a collective that I just think there's so much, there's so much mystery, there's so much magic to it. And I think that's why it resonates with me.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Yeah. I've heard somewhere that if Carl Jung was here today, that he would be considered more of an artist because therapy is such a medical model now. And he was very much like more of the like meaning making, like, let's look at the meaning like more than like let's apply CBT to this thought and pattern that keeps showing up. It was more of like, what does this pattern mean? Yeah, why is this why is this continuing to show up? Why is this what you're continuing to notice? And I think there's a lot of beauty in the way that he thinks. And I think that like just as therapists, I think there's such an importance in maintaining some of that like knowledge as we're working with clients.

Jung 101: Meaningful Coincidence

SPEAKER_01 9:06

Yeah. And I think about the curiosity piece of it too, like the medical model does not resonate with me very much at all. Like it it feels so cold and there's no magic to it. Yeah. This curiosity piece feels very magical. Like to always be curious. I feel like a part of my inner again, the inner child can come out and play. Take us back to what you had written down. Okay. So Carl Jung coined the term synchronicities as meaningful coincidences that have no casual connection but feel deeply connected. The purpose of this was the the evidence of like the psyche's dialogue with the outer world. So like your inner world and your outer world communicating and moments when your unconscious can communicate through external events. So just being aware of the little things that happen in the external world that maybe stir something within you. Right? Get curious about what's happening for you underneath it all as you go about living in the external world. Yeah. And really building a relationship with your inner world. I think there was a time in my life when my inner world was very rich and colorful and full of meaning. And I don't know that it's always supposed to be that way. Again, like everything, like things come in cycles, and sometimes it can feel very barren or non-existent or dry or just not there. But I think the building the relationship with that, like you build your relationship with your intuition. Yeah. Like you build your relationship with your inner child, like you build your relationship with anything. Like it takes work, it takes consistency. It's not going anywhere, but sometimes that relationship can, you know, fade away or be really strong. And I think that moments that we learn or that we recognize synchronicities happening in our daily life is when we're paying attention.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:00

The difference uh between coincidence and synchronicity being that coincidence is random and synchronicity lands with emotional resonance or symbolic meaning.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

Oh, interesting. So a synchronicity would almost be more like a meaningful coincidence. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I wrote that in mind too. That's probably where I'm getting that right. Yeah, that is right. I did write it down. I just wrote Kyle Jung, meaningful coincidences. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

So the modern interpretation of that being like guidance or alignment, which we've talked a lot about, or like the nervous system's attunement to patterns that mirror like our inner landscape. I think we don't give our nervous system enough credit for like the miraculous things that it's able to do. Yeah. Or that it does do for us. So just paying attention to that.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

Right. I think also that we are naturally such meaning-making creatures. Did you take the grief class when we were? I think we had that class together actually. Okay. Who was it? Orson? Mm-hmm. Orson Wells? I can't remember. I know, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. And he was just like a dude. He was a cool dude who worked up at like primary children's in social work and worked with a lot of grieving parents.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

I there was something that he talked about in our class, and that was like the grieving cycle, whatever it is, death, denial, anger, bargaining, depression, etc. Cycle of grief. Cycle of grief. He talked about cycle of grief and he talked about like this extra thing at the end of the cycle of grief, which it doesn't really end, not to say that it does end, right? It's often we go through that not linearly, and we go through it. I personally think kind of forever. But he talked about in grieving at some point that it makes sense to get to a space where we can make meaning of the loss. And that's any loss. It's not just the loss of a human life. There's a really great book called The Tao of Fully Feeling, and he talks about life as grief. Like everything in life is really a grieving experience, right? Like as we move forward, as we grow older. But Orson talked about just like the importance of making meaning through loss. And that just stood out to me in that class. And I just feel that that's so incredibly important. And also can be difficult, right? When we've had or been met with a very difficult loss in our life. And, you know, then someone's telling us, we need to make meaning out of that. And I don't think we make meaning until we're ready to, but I do think it's important to have it like I just think making meaning out of our losses can be so incredibly powerful. And I really do believe that it's what we're kind of wired to do as humans. I think that in modern day society we're more disconnected from meaning making, but I do think it's powerful and important. It has been for me.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Yeah. Mm-hmm. I would say the same thing. It's important to make a meaning of your loss. And if you don't, then you're left with well, why did you like then you're left with questions? Yep. And questions only you have the answers to because you know you're not gonna get answers to those questions any other way than what you make of it. Right. And I think it can be empowering and transformative to be able to make sense of why something like that has happened.

SPEAKER_02 14:14

Well, where should we kick off? Where should we kick off on this?

SPEAKER_01 14:18

Do you want to jump into 1111?

Inner World, Symbols, And Therapy

Grief And Making Meaning

The 11:11 Thread In A Life

SPEAKER_02 14:20

Yeah. So the reason why I was like, oh, we should do synchronicities is because I feel in my life I've had a very powerful like experience in connection to 11-11, which I know is a very popular one for some context here. My whole therapy private practice is called 11-11 Therapy Co. And the meaning behind 1111 is just kind of like when you see that, like you're on the right path, right? Like keep going, you're on the right path. So I'm like, where do I even start? In my life, I have had so many friends with the birthday 1111. And you know, that it's coincidental, right? I make a more of a meaningful coincidence out of it. Like one of my first boyfriends, his birthday was November 11th. One of my best friends growing up in high school, her birthday was 1111. And there's just been so many random experiences with people who I get really connected to who have that birthday. Even some clients where I've been like, oh my gosh, that's like their birthday is 1111. Like that's crazy. And I feel very like close to them. So all throughout my life, that number has just kind of shown up. And I just thought it was interesting. When I was younger, I was just like, oh, here's another person with this birthday. And I too hold the awareness that February 14th is a very popular baby making day, right? So the fact that like I have, I know so many people born what three days before November 14th, it's probably a very popular time to be born. However, I still find meaning in it because even though it's a popular day to be born, I personally have had so many experiences with people with that birthday. So all this to say, fast forward to 2017. So I'm gonna tell the story a little bit here. So my dad and I, we had a tumultuous relationship. I was an accident baby, to give some context to that. And he and my mom, they just had a tumultuous relationship, right? Like custody battles. My dad actually told my mom, like, I will make your life hell if you bring this baby forward. And he did that. And my dad was a police officer, he had a lot of power. My mom was a waitress, so there was a very big power differential there, especially when it came to like being involved in the court system. Like my dad knew the people who like the judge, and so my dad did that, right? And throughout my life, my dad was just a very emotionally distant man. Like he he was an alcoholic, he was a police officer, he did all the things you could do in like that realm of work, like law enforcement. He did, he was a state trooper, he did CSI, which I personally think really fucked him up just from some of the things that he had witnessed. So we just he lived in California. I moved to Utah when I was nine, and from then on started to see him less and less. But somehow, through it all, I always extended the olive branch to my dad. And I just knew that he had his own demons, and I did know that he loved me. I really do think that he tried his best. I don't think his best was good enough, but I do think that he genuinely was trying, but it just wasn't good enough. I I just I could say that, you know. Um, he didn't come to my high school graduation, even though he was adamant that he was going to. We just had it was very, very distant and tumultuous. And at the same time, I always held this like desire to one day be able to heal that and have a relationship to my dad. My stepmom, who was not any help in us having a healing relationship, she passed away in 2014. And when she died, I was like, Oh, me and my dad, we're gonna have an opportunity to be closer. Like, this will change things. It didn't change anything. My dad kind of isolated, didn't ever come out to visit. Like he said, I'm gonna come out, you know, and he didn't. He would send me text messages where he'd be like, Where the fuck you at, Brie? Like, you haven't where where you at? Gonna reach out to your dad? I'm like, Dad, like, dad, like you're the dad, you know? Like, so that is the extent that is our relationship. So in 2017, a few years after my stepmom died, there were the wildfires in California that were like pretty bad. So that was I think they started in like maybe the end of September. And my dad, his dog that was like his bestie, right, passed away in August. And I think my dad was very lonely. I know he was drinking a lot because when we went after his death, we went and cleaned up his like his house, his backyard. There was a whole mountain of beer cans that he would just throw over the fence to like some property. So like he was drinking, he was not healthy, he was a smoker. When the wildfires happened, I think he started to get stressed out. Like these fires were raging in Northern California, and they were when I went after he died, like when I went down there, the houses just like a street over, decimated, like gone, right? So my dad had been texting me all throughout October, like, I don't know what's gonna happen. I think they're gonna, I'm gonna have to evacuate, like this is so stressful, right? And he was very stressed. Well, all of a sudden his health started to like rapidly decline. I can't, I don't even have the story straight because it he was so in and out of the hospital at the end. I think it was like the end of October. He went in and then he wanted to get out and he was frustrated. And then my dad's toes started turning black and he ended up back in the hospital at the beginning or like early November. And I remember getting the call from his sister, my aunt, one morning. And she was like, Bree, it's not good. Like he's on life support. And I had, oh, it's getting me, I haven't talked about this in a minute. But I remember he had like left me a voicemail probably like a couple days before this happened. And in his voicemail, he said, like, I love you, Bree. And I don't have a lot of recollection of my dad ever telling me he loved me. So, like, again, he was really trying his best. I know that, and his best sucked. But when I found out he was on life support, I was like, I want to go be there. And again, like I just saw my dad, you know, like so I was like, I'm I'm gonna go be there. I wanna be there, I wanna say goodbye. So I was in relationship. It just wasn't we weren't meant to be together, right? We were on two different pages in life. I think that he's a good person. I just don't think that we were meant to be, right? Anyway, we ended up driving to California, and I remember like we arrived, and I just remember feeling very like I just felt like the California air, like the air of the coast is what I would call it. And I just remember like coming apart, kind of sitting with the recognition of like this relationship is never going to have the chance to be healed, you know? And likely, even if he was alive, I don't know that that I think that's a fantasy that I have created that if he had been, you know, if he was gonna go on to live, we would have been able to heal and mend and live happily ever after and have this beautiful daddy-daughter relationship. I don't think that's true. Anyway, we go to the hospital to see him, and you know, he was on life support. But when I got there and when he heard me, when I just said, like, hi, dad, and he took the biggest breath. Like he knew, like she came, you know? And I said a few words and we went back home and he was still on life support. And I think it was the next morning, 1111, when me and my boyfriend at the time were out and about doing some errands in California. My uncle called me and was like, Brie, it's happening. So if you want to get to the hospital, and I did, and I went and I held my dad's hand. And you know, for someone who wasn't even there for my birth, I'm like, I showed up for his death and held his hand on his way out. And again, like that was important to me to do. So I was there with him when he passed, but he passed on 1111, which I at the time clocked, and I was like, that is just interesting. It's also interesting because that's like I think it's Veterans Day. You would know. Yes, it's Veterans Day. And my dad was, I don't think my dad was ever like, I think he may have done a very brief stint in the military. But my dad donated to the Purple Heart Fund. Like he was very passionate about that, right? So I was kind of like, that's interesting that he died on this day for him. Like he'd be like, Oh, that's kind of cool, you know. But for me, I was like, interesting. So after his death, this is a long story. Hope this is fine. This is fine, right? Yeah, fine. I mean, this is my synchronicity. So yes. So after he died, right? Like my life completely changed. And there was a song that we were listening to in the hospital. That song is the sound of silence, but it's disturbs rendition of that song. And me and my uncle were listening to it because my dad had sent it to us via Facebook Messenger, and that's what my dad would do. He would send a song and be like, listen to this, Bray. Like, listen to the words. And we were sitting there after he had died listening to that song, and we were just bawling. And I was like, No wonder my dad resonated with this song. Like, it's a sad song, you know? But I mean, in the song, like it's like something cancer grows. My dad's auto- I don't know if he necessarily had an autopsy, but they attributed his death to lung cancer. So he didn't know that he had it. But after they were, they were doing testing, and that was kind of the conclusion that they drew is that he did die. No, sorry, liver cancer, smoker, drinker, and like I can't get it right, but it was liver cancer or liver failure. Fuck, one of those. Anyway, so we were listening to that song, disturbed, sound of silence, and that's another interesting synchronicity that I just remembered.

unknown 24:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:23

All the while this is happening, I get back to Utah, and I'm kind of recognizing at the time, like me and this boyfriend, it's not going anywhere. And I think we both knew that. And time goes on, we break up and I start kind of hanging out with my now husband. And one of the first things, one of the very first times that we ever hung out, we were with one of my dear friends and Tori, my husband, and Tori's phone goes off and it's disturbed sound of silence that's set as his ringtone. I just got chills or his dad specifically. What? So his phone is ringing and it says dad, and it's playing sound of silence by disturbed. And me and my friend Jeff look at each other, and Jeff is just like, that is a synchronicity because Jeff knew. In fact, Jeff being Jeff was like, synchronicity. And I was like, that's fucking weird. Wow. So, and that's like it's a popular song. It comes on the radio here and there, but I wouldn't say it's like a hit on the radio, you know? So, anyway, that was really weird. And then I think it was my first birthday after he passed. We were driving home from where we had my birthday party at, but we were in the car and the song came on on my birthday on the radio, and I fell apart. Like I just fell apart because I was like, I feel like that's my dad, like telling me, happy birthday, you know, like this song is coming on. And I feel very attached to him through that song. So that's my one synchronicity. Come back to 1111 in a second. But even on our wedding day, that song, the one time I sent Tori out to get us all Chick-fil-A when we were all getting ready because we got married during COVID. It was like small, shut down. We were hungry. I was like, Can you please go get us Chick-fil-A? And he got in the car and Sound of Silence was on the radio. The one time that he gets in the car on the wedding day, like it just felt so it's again, it's the meaningful coincidence. Like that song, I only run into it when I need to hear it. When it comes on and I'm like, oh my gosh, that feels like my dad, you know? So the 11-11 thing, ever since my dad has passed away, I see that number everywhere, you know. When I was quitting my last job to open up my private practice, I was very stressed. And I remember I pulled up to my in-laws' house to drop off my daughter. And I was I just remember that morning that I had some things that I take care of that day, and it was very stressful. And a school bus drove past me, and the number on the school bus was 1111.

SPEAKER_03 26:56

Oh my god.

A Father’s Death And A Song

SPEAKER_02 26:57

When I was, this is more recent when I was in the hospital after giving birth to my son. There was a nurse who was like hooking me up and doing my needle shit and all that, you know. And she had a little tattoo on her arm that said 1111. And I started crying. And I was like, I like that number. And she was like, Oh yeah, that number means a lot to me. And I was like, You have no idea what that number means to me. And seeing that right now, like means so much. And we kind of like connected. But through all of this, when I was like, What am I gonna name my practice? You know, I was trying out all sorts of different things, and then I was like, I think I have to name it 1111 because I don't think that I would be where I'm at in my life. Like, you know, my dad dying was very, very sad and very tragic, and there's so many things that he's missed, and I wish he could be here for them, and he's not, and that's the reality. But like, I do feel this connection that our relationship now with him passing is stronger than it ever could have been with him here because now the relationship is like completely on my terms, and I think that that feels better than consistently being let down and disappointed by my dad. But like knowing that I feel like he's shown up for me more in his death than he ever did in life, which is sad, but also like I sit with a lot of meaning when I see that number, I do see it as a message. So that's my big story of synchronicity and the power of it and meaning.

SPEAKER_01 28:34

Yes, thank you so much for sharing that. Yeah, and I know that I mean, you and I have talked a little bit about 1111 and just some of the synchronicities that you've had with it, but I think this is the like first time that like you know, even I am getting like the full big picture multiple times. I got yeah, chills, like my eyes got watery. Yeah, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 28:55

When people have asked me, like, why 1111? I'm like, let me give you the condensed version of so I guess that's like that is how that is why I need my practice 1111.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

And no, anytime anybody asks, you can just give them the link.

SPEAKER_02 29:10

You can listen if you wish. I've loved it though. Good. I'm glad. Thank you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

What is your like synchronicity? I don't know if I have like a huge like one that stands out or consistently shows up. Okay, I don't know if this is I guess it's a synchronicity. Okay. Is there a meaningful coincidence? Yes. Yeah. Slightly otherworldly. Mm-hmm. This one just popped into my brain. Like this was not one that I was thinking about, but it is prominent.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

The song is such a huge part of that story, and I completely forgot about it until I was telling the story. Really? Yeah. The song that's like 1111's big, but then the song, I was like, oh my god. And I knew when I was taking journal notes, I was like, it'll just come to me as I'm talking about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:53

Which is the best way, I think. Yeah. I mean, no sense in trying to overplan for this. Yeah. It just organically and naturally is the best stuff. Okay, so I guess my synchronicity would be. Oh, here we go. Yeah. When I was born, it was very traumatic. I've been waiting for this story. Oh my god.

unknown 30:13

Okay.

The Song That Keeps Returning

Naming A Practice After 11:11

SPEAKER_01 30:14

Um, when I was born, it was very traumatic birth. Um, I don't remember it. I'm sure my body does in some ways, but what I know is just from what I've been told. I'll get to there. This carries on to me being able to remember parts of the synchronicity. Again, this is gonna feel kind of otherworldly and magical, but I think synchronicities are. So when I was born, they were not sure that I was going to make it. They took me, I mean, I was my I was my mom's firstborn. And mom, if you're listening to this, I love you. This is gonna be hard for her to listen to. Yeah. So they didn't think I was gonna make it, they took me away. Way. She didn't get to see me. She didn't know what I looked like. We were actually going through some old baby things, like maybe when I was 15, 16, 17, and I came across a letter that she had written me in those first four, I don't know how many hours it was that she hadn't seen me, but she was like, I know I had a baby. She's like, and I don't know where my baby is. And like knowing what birth is like, I could not imagine going through that. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Um, how many weeks were you? I was early by a couple weeks. You mean like me? Yeah, I think I was born like three weeks early. Okay. Maybe not like super early. Maybe two weeks. Yeah. Just a couple weeks. I could go into what happened. I guess how it happened was just that I there was so much amniotic fluid that when they popped her water, I fell and hit her pelvis and caused some injury and was stuck like that for hours until I arrived. And also had the umbilical cord wrapped around my neck, which I hear is a very common thing. It only added to the complication. It was something that came up in my own birth, and I could recognize the body, you know, body keeps the score, just all of the stuff coming up in my own body with that. But we'd come across a letter that she had written me, and I'd only seen that letter once. That was the only time I've seen that letter. She probably still has it somewhere and she's probably keeping it forever. Yeah. But she wrote a letter about not being able to see me for hours after I was born. She knows what I looked like. A nurse came in and told her, like, Have you seen your baby yet? And at this point it was like two or three in the morning. Like everyone had gone home. Everyone that was there to support her had gone home. She was just alone and she's like, No, I don't know where my baby is. I don't know if she's okay. The nurse had taken her to go see me in the NICU, hooked up to all of these cords, all of these wires, all of these IVs. Yeah. The whole thing. So fragile. Like you she knew that I was hers because I had curly hair. And she's like, That's my baby. Her first experience with childbirth, and they told her that I was going to have all sorts of complications. All sorts of learning disabilities, all sorts of physical disabilities. I think it was my great-grandfather that gave her a bottle of it's just a little vial of probably like an inch and a half big of Saint Padre Pio oil that had been blessed. You I I mean, in the Catholic tradition, like you can go and get rosaries or things or you know, items of importance, but to then have them blessed by like a priest is what makes them like sacred. So she had this vial of Saint Padre Pio oil. I believe my great-grandfather gave it to her, her grandpa. They would put that oil like on my forehead, on my chest, on my body, like every single day. And Saint Padre Pio, he is a saint, a patron saint of healing. And so he's always been important. Back when I was talking about like my experience with religion and the saints and their stories, he was one of my most favorite ones because I mean, for obvious reasons, he's like so a part of my story. Um, but they put that oil on me every day. And they, my family, again, the ones that like were going through that experience, attribute like my survival or my ability to have thrived to that oil. And the most like wildest thing about it is that like they used that whole vial, like they used it all up and it refilled. Oh my goodness. Like magic. And it's been used several times in our family in life or death situations, right? Like when it's a matter of will this person survive, and if they have a lot of life left to live, right? One of my cousins who shares a birthday with me, he had a little girl who had a very traumatic birth and had to have a lot of major complicated surgeries right off the bat. And my mom gave that bottle to my aunt to use on her granddaughter. And she used it. Like sh I remember my mom telling me my aunt came back and was like, I'm so sorry. She knows how much this bottle of oil means to my mom, and she's like, It's gone. I used it all. And my mom would be like, That's okay. It's gonna do what it's meant to do. Yeah. And it refilled. I think each time though, it's not refilled as much. Mm-hmm. Like it does get less and less. It must have some incredible magical healing properties. Like, yeah. I just don't know any other way to explain that. Yeah. Mm-hmm. So this bottle of oil for me and my family has been the biggest criticity of them all, I think. Yeah. I don't think about it all the time, but it just came to me as you asked what mine was.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

Yeah. She still has it. When my great-grandfather passed away, I think it was 2018, he was 101. I lived independently his whole time. He had home health at the end. My nana had given me a little I don't know how to describe it, but it's like a tiny little card of like St. Padre Pio with a prayer on the back that I'd had for years. I can't remember when I got it from her, but I put that in his breast pocket and sent that with him as a thank you, you know, for the role that he played. Yeah. In my life. And it came back to me. Like I think my my nana was there when I did it, and she went and got me a new one that I have by my bedside table. I love that. So, like the magic behind it or the story behind some of these saints, like that's what's meaningful to me.

A Birth Saved And Sacred Oil

SPEAKER_02 36:21

Well, absolutely. Given that story, yeah, I could talk about this stuff. I'm just like, I've got even more stuff just coming up. I'm like, I can keep going and going. You talking about the saints reminds me. So my uh my grandmother on my dad's side was Catholic. So when my dad died, I took like some of his things for like his wallet that he had with him when he went to the hospital for the last time, you know? And I just had that wallet. Like I just held on to it. And one day my husband was just we were just dating at the time, but I was showing him like my dad's wallet, and Tori was like, There's something in here. Like there's something, like I feel something. And I was like, that's weird. Like, what are you talking about? And you could see this little imprint of this little silver, like a little something. And he dug it out of the wallet because it was like a leather wallet, it was compacted in there, you know? What is the saint that is associated with guarding law enforcement and Saint Michael the Archangel? Yes, yes, yes. So there was a little like silver thing that my grandma had got to him many, many, many years ago. My dad was involved in an officer-involved shooting when I think I was about, we hadn't moved to Utah yet. So I was probably like seven. And when I told my grandma that we pulled this little, like a charm, like a little charm, we pulled it out of his wallet. She was like, Oh my gosh. She's like, I actually gave that to him like forever ago as like a gift, right? Because he was an officer. And my dad said when he was involved in that shooting that it fell out, like it fell out of his wallet. So he always felt a very like symbolic synchronicity to that, right? And then when Tori found that that day, I was just like, that is so crazy that you're the one to find that. It's like it was meant for him to find. I feel a lot of synchronicity in how me and my husband came together associated with my dad. Tori's a huge Cowboys fan. My dad was a huge Cowboys fan. Like it's just so funny. But yeah, I have it on a necklace now. Tori got it on the nice gold, like white gold chain for me. So I wear it sometimes. Not really a fan of silver and it's silver. But yeah, just another one of those little weird winks. You know, it felt like a wink because I would have never noticed that. Yeah. But he was like, something's in here. Wow. So weird.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

That's crazy. Just like the I mean, I don't know how else you explain things like that. Again, I guess you're making meaning of it. Yeah, absolutely. But it does feel like magic or like a message from beyond. Yep, and I know who that is.

SPEAKER_02 38:53

You know, some people just see that. My husband is very, I mean, he thinks the song is weird. And he's very like, it's probably just coincidence kind of guy, you know. The song, the sound of silence, the way that comes on. He's like, that is bizarre. Like he's bought into that one. That one's crazy, you know. But he is very much the type who's just like, I think coincidence just happened. But I look at him and I'm like, how do you think that it's just coincidence? Even with the 11-11 stuff, he's like, Yeah, I mean, that's weird. And I'm glad that you see meaning in that. That's good, you know. But the only one he's like fully bought into is the sound of silence. So crazy.

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Yeah. I mean, how else do you explain all those things? I do have a couple of notes here. Yes, as we were reflecting on the stories that we shared today. That meaning making is actually like a regulation that humans are wired to create patterns, and that noticing the synchronicity can be our psyche's way of regulating uncertainty by forming connection or purpose. Again, like going back to the meaning making and understanding, making sense of things that seem uncomprehensible. Yeah. Like, why did this happen? How could this have happened?

SPEAKER_02 40:05

It's interesting for you to call out that like your brain kind of trying to help you cope with uncertainty. Because I that's a big one that I talk about with everyone, right? Like all my clients and myself. I'm always like, we need to be um comfortable with uncertainty because life is uncertain. But I also think that figuring out how, yeah, how do we sit with that? That life is uncertain. And I think that making sometimes making meaning is how we do that. Yeah, you know? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:34

I think it too is just like another way of our unconscious, right? Unconscious comes up a lot in like our cards as we talk, but like our unconscious way of trying to pay attention, right? Like pay attention to this thing. It might not be quote unquote magical, but it it matters what it invokes in us internally. Yes. And that's why I tend to view things as magical. Cause that's what m makes sense to me. Yep. I also have here that people experience more synchronicities during liminal times. Oh. Like grief and new love and postpartum or identity shifts and when boundaries between the unconscious and the conscious are thin. That's so interesting. When the veil is thin. Yeah. Which at least is applicable to the two stories that we shared today.

SPEAKER_02 41:16

Absolutely is. Mm-hmm. Yep. Which is interesting. You know, if we're thinking about is this real? Are these things real? It's interesting to think about what is we don't even fully understand our brains, like at all. You know, we have a good understanding, but there's so much that we still just do not understand like how our brains even make meaning, right? Yeah. I don't know that I would personally want to know how it works. Me neither. But the fact that we can't figure it out is fascinating.

SPEAKER_01 41:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:48

You know, like there's so many, there's just a lot there that we just don't fully understand. But I think even our brains are magical. I think the way that like our neurons keep like firing and making new connections over time is I think that is magical. I've seen like little videos of like how that works. And every time I see it, I'm like, that is crazy.

SPEAKER_01 42:08

Yeah. Mm-hmm. How else do you explain something like that? Yeah. Last thing I have here is just the balancing awe with agent. So believing everything is a sign can lead to externalizing your power and ignoring the signs altogether can sever us from our intuition. So how do we hold them both?

SPEAKER_02 42:26

That's such a great point. Because uh, we also need to hold our power. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And we can't just attribute everything to something else. Which is why I think it's important that we hold remembering that when something is meaningful, it's because you're making meaning, right? Like, and we can look for signs for a reason to not do something, but also coming back to ourselves and making sure that we get what has to be done, done.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

Going back to that aligned choice. Yep. And also learning to listen to our intuition.

Family Relics And Saint Stories

SPEAKER_02 42:58

Yeah. Or letting it inform our choices. I kind of want to pull a card for the end of this episode. Let's do it. I'm gonna pull it from the work your light deck. The one that started it all. The one that started it all, the one that I just love. I feel very connected to this deck. Every time I pull cards for clients, it just feels like it resonates so much. So, like me and clients often are like, that's literally our session whenever I pull a card. And do you pull them at the end of session? And if I forget, I have some clients that are like, not leave until you pull my card, which I love. Oh, that's interesting. That one came out. Just say yes. I love the fact that they're look, it's the three, the three-faced goddesses. Yeah, I'm just gonna split the deck three times. We had a card fall out, and it's the yes card. It says just say yes. And I know that the book for this, it literally just says yes, says, yes, says, yes, over and over and over again. Oh soul family. Call in your tribe. You don't have to do it alone. Which I just love for like the purpose of sharing our stories on the podcast. And so I'm just gonna read, I am gonna read what that card means from this deck, the work your light deck from Rebecca Campbell. It says, it's time to call in your soul family and support team, people who get you at soul level, people who are the same kind of weird as you, people who are your chosen family, they are coming and they are looking for you. If you haven't found them yet, this is a sign that they are close by. But in order for them to find you and recognize you when they do, it is important that you stop dimming your light and truly let yourself be seen. If you have already found them, then you are being called to let them support you and perhaps also assemble a wider support team. Your support team can consist of all types of people, such as a therapist, coach, mentor, or healer. Tune in to what kind of support you need now. I love that. I love that too. And I think the sentence of just like, don't dim your light and truly let yourself be seen connects for me because I'm constantly kind of asking myself, is this too much? Should I be sharing this on this podcast? It's not uncommon today for therapists to be sharing a little bit more vulnerable. And I keep trying to remember, I'm a human first, I'm a therapist second. Like I want to share some of my more vulnerable stuff on this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 45:13

So I think I we talked a little bit about I felt the same way. Yeah. I would go back and re-listen to the episodes right before they post, and I'm like, hmm, should I have said that?

SPEAKER_02 45:22

I know. Yep. But I think we're just showing up as human, and I think that's an important thing for me. I want to do that. And this podcast isn't necessarily like an educational podcast. Like it's exploration, it's curiosity, it's connection. I kind of think if we're asking people to come share their stories on our podcast, that I too want to set the tone here and also practice being vulnerable. Same. I love that. This feels good. Yeah. I'm excited for this one. Me too. Okay, thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed, don't forget to give us a review so that other people can find our podcast. We're excited. We kind of talked about how we're gonna have our first guest soon, hoping to release that this month for Premi Awareness Month is the month of November. We have somebody who has quite the story and I would love for her to get on here and share it with us. Yes. We look forward to more soon.

SPEAKER_01 46:22

Thank you so much for joining us. If you have any questions, comments, feedback, or just things that you'd like to share, please check out our Google form linked in our Instagram bio. We'd love to hear from you and we appreciate you all so much. So thank you for taking a seat at our table. Bye.